Divorce is not easy for either the couple or the kids. Everyone in the family will feel some sort of pain with a loss of sense and anxiety.
While the time is a heart-wrenching situation, there are ways to help reduce the pain and work on the common guilt that most fathers feel towards their kids.
Here are the best 6 strategies to strengthen your bond after divorce.
Provide Reassurance of Both Parent’s Love Towards the Children
Keep contact with the kids on a daily basis. Even if you may no longer live with them, stay in the daily routine of discussing your day or any challenges they might be having.
Discuss your next upcoming weekend plans with them and what they would like to do. You can also make a calendar that will help kids feel more confident and reassured. This will help them understand that they will have time with their parents.
Talk About Their Feelings
It is important to acknowledge the feelings that kids will feel under the situation. You might not have had to explain the cause of divorce but rather discuss that it is normal to feel angry and sad about the changes.
These feelings are hard to deal, yet alone as a child. You can talk to them about their emotions and let them know that it is okay to discuss their feelings with both parents. Aim to encourage your child to discuss their thoughts and how you support them.
Avoid Talking About the Other Parent in a Negative Tone
Above all other strategies, be sure to never talk poorly about the other parent or blame them for the reason of the divorce. Even if you are angry, children do not deserve to see or hear such words from their parents but rather need love and attention.
Children will see the loyalty challenge as the conflicts arise. This will lead to bad feelings and weaken the relationship that is already on an unable bridge.
Give Your Children an Advanced Notice Before the Parent Moves Out
Before you and your partner decide to make drastic changes, you should give your children time in advance to understand the changes before the parent moves out.
It will work better if the children can visit the new home and know their new space of where they will stay when they visit. It is encouraging for parents to get the children involved during the change by helping choose furniture and providing their own space for their possessions.
Prepare for the Acts Out of Anger
It is important to expect that any family member going to major changes may act up. It is often uncommon to see children change their behavior such as talking back, wetting their bed, or refusing to listen to attempt to gain authority. Children will need time to calm down but will also need your open line of support and communication to finally open up again. Over time, these behaviors will slowly disappear once they are ready to adapt to new changes.
Talk to A Family Expert
While you may not be able to save your marriage, it can still be helpful to talk with a family expert who has experience with divorcing families. They should be able to give guidance and support to every family member and instruct on how to handle the situations that come with divorce. Children will benefit from talking to a therapist on their own, without the judgment of their parents. This is because they will feel the ability to express their emotions without having to hide from their parents or hurting them in the process.
There is no question that going through a divorce is hard on everyone. However, showing your children the love they deserve by both parents will help you create a calm and stable environment for them to thrive. Children will be able to grow from the situation better than not being prepared. As the time passes, they will be calm about the separate and your bond will still remain intact.